Dee Cheeks
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: So this is a weird one... Kind of a parody of shows like "Yukon Men" and "Alaska: The Last Frontier". It's a drama based on the survival of a family of Waddle Dees in the icy wilderness. Enjoy!


ALL CAPS denote an interview segment

Tonight on "DEE CHEEKS"…

Millard: "What are you doing!? Git that wood on the truck, will ya?"

Mike: "Can't, it won't budge."

Millard: "Yer kiddin' me…"

MILLARD: "I've been hauling trees cross the Ice Cream Island for nearly thirty years. Ain't no Dee that can't haul a twig like that. Boy, just ain't puttin' his heart in it."

…

BILL: "Brontos all up tearin' my field apart, scaring the livestock. I've got me a house pest is all."

Bill: "Holy Dee… that's a big one…"

…

Karson: "A Dee's gotta do what a Dee's gotta do…"

KARSON: "I'm reckon runnin' into trouble's gonna be the only way ta' git me outta some."

Karson: "WHOA!"

"DEE CHEEKS"

Narrator with overly gruff voice: "Every Dee and their kin know that Dreamland is a harsh environment. But when it comes to White Wafers, if the cold doesn't get you… everything else will. Right now Bill Dee is headed on his way to check on the family's private wheat crops."

Bill: "Beauty day for harvestin'!"

BILL: "I must admit, livin' up here in Wafers ain't all its cut out to be. Can I survive? Maybe. But what really matters is can you best the cold, and if you can best the cold you've got every right ta' be here."

Bill: "Ahh no…"

Narrator: "immediately Bill notices something's gone wrong with the family crops."

Bill: "Brontos…"

Narrator: "The fields have been hit hard by a nasty feeding frenzy. The culprit?"

Bill: "Brontos… Dagnabbit…"

BILL: "Bronto Burts, or as we like ta' call 'em 'Brontos' are real crop killers… They'll swarm in at any time and tear your whole work apart faster than you can pop."

Bill: "All this work…"

BILL: "It's literally heartbreakin' to walk all the way out here and see so much devestation."

Bill: "You see that patch of green tucked in the corner. That's all that's left now."

Cameraman: "That's it?"

Bill: "That's it…"

BILL: "My daddy had a similar encounter back in his time where Brontos swarmed the field when he was literally just standin' there. Brontos don't care none about you or your work. But it's a good thing they're easy to wipe out."

Bill: "I s'pose now I'll grab mah shotgun and wait in the patch… See if them little buggers come back. If ya scare 'em, at least we'll have this here."

BILL: "I gotta pay more attention to Brontos… Today it was the private crops. Tomorrow… what if they come for somethin' bigger? That would be the worst of times."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, further south at the Ice Cream Islands, Millard and his son Mike have been hard at work collecting lumber for the family business.

Millard: "Watch the angle yer slicing it, boy!"

MILLARD: "Mike is a good kid. It may seem like I rag on him a bit too much, but the kid's got a good work ethic, he's built like a Gigant Blade, and he knows his way 'round the forest."

Millard: "That's the ticket! Bring 'er down and load up, Mike!"

Mike: "I'm gonna try those two next ones bad there!"

Millard: "What!?"

Mike: "I'm choppin' them next!"

Millard: "Are you outta yer mind, boy!?"

MILLARD: "On the other hand, Mike thinks he can just saw down every tree he sees. Now I know for sure that that tree he wants to cut down… that's a rotting piece of deadweight nothin'. Ain't nobody want that, least of all me."

Mike: "I'm goin' for this one next!"

Millard: "Boy, if you chop that down, yer haulin'!"

Mike: "It's good wood!"

Millard: "No it's not good! You're crazy!"

MILLARD: "Part of me is saying 'Millard, git up there and make sure he doesn't follow through cause it's gonna be a waste of time.' Then another part of me says… 'No… he deserves a learnin' experience and I'm gonna leave him be.'"

Millard: "Dang mistake is what this is, that's what I say…"

Narrator: "Meanwhile further north at Shiver Star, Karson Dee has taken the initiative of scouting out tonight's dinner. And things have already started to go awry."

KARSON: "I started with my gear for ice-fishin'. Wouldn't ya know it? Gone… Stolen from right under my nose. Lock busted off the shed and my whole lot cleaned. I'll tell ya… whatever a shady jerk would want wit' a drill like that, otha' than sell it online. Ha!"

Narrator: "With Karson's ice-fishing escapade put on hold, he journeys to the eastern borders of Icicle Mountain for a quick peak at big game substitutes."

KARSON: "It's around this area we see a lot of Grizzos. They're tough oftentimes, but a few hits and they pop. Seen a few drop as good as a Maximater. So you know if you hunt them and actually manage to best 'em, you'll get a pretty decent reward."

Karson: "It takes a while to get up this mountain to the other side… Luckily, when we do make it…"

RAAARGH!

Karson: "What was…"

"DEE CHEEKS" will return after this!


End file.
